Welcome to the Losers Club's "LoserJournal." Here you will find real testimony from fellow human beings who live with losers. We hope you enjoy your stay! If you would like to return to the Losers Club home page, click here. View LoserJournals Ebo Pokey Neo Silver Sam Sascha Juliette Sweetie Bailey Baby Snowdrop Odo Tsuki Luna Ebo's LoserJournal Documented by Pho 2005/05/20 I was doing laundry today, and all of a sudden, as I was on my way down the hall, Ebo came flying at me from out of nowhere and landed on my shoulder. I realized that it was because I was holding a towel that he wanted to flirt with. Well, I let him flirt for a while, and he said "Good Ebo!" about a million times and sang his "Ebo-Ebo-Ebo" song a million times too. But it was getting late and I wanted the clothes to be dry by the time I got to sleep, so I just cut off Ebo's flirting session and took the towel back down the hall. Ebo sat on my shoulder, crying and looking absolutely horrified as I stuffed his girlfriend into the washing machine. It was actually pretty amusing! ^_^ 2005/05/19 I have a certain can opener, and whenever I use it, it makes a high-pitched squealing noise with every crank of the handle. Well, Ebo's cage is at the edge of the kitchen, so he's always right there to watch as I use the can opener. And EVERY SINGLE TIME I use this squeaky can opener, Ebo starts pacing back and forth at the bottom of the cage (one step to the right, then one step to the left, etc.), saying "Ebo. Ebo. Ebo. Ebo. Ebo. Ebo." etc. until I finish opening the can. I used the can opener yesterday, and Ebo was so excited that he was practically frantic, doing his sideways steps at twice the usual speed and saying "Ebo. Ebo. Good Ebo! Good Ebo! Good Ebo!" until the can opener stopped squeaking. He's such a loser! Today I was also thinking about this one time several months ago that my little brother came to our house to visit. Ebo loooooves my little brother and enjoys gluing himself to his shoulder, singing and flirting. And my little brother is very patient with Ebo's loserhood. However, one day I guess he decided to mess with Ebo's mind. When Ebo tried to perch on his shoulder, my brother set him back down and then RAN out of the room. Well, Ebo let out a loud "SHRIEK!" and took off flying after him. The rooms in the house are interconnected, and my brother ran in circles through the rooms with Ebo literally chasing after him. They ran/flew for several laps before Ebo got tired and landed, yelling for my brother while catching his breath. My brother, though, had hidden himself from Ebo. However, as soon as he revealed his hiding spot, Ebo took off after him again! This went on for a pretty long time. I figure at least Ebo got some good exercise. Big loser! 2005/05/18 Today Ebo and Pokey sat in the bathroom with me while I took a bath, before joining me for a shower. I figured that if I actually did some of my self-washing before having to deal with the birds, I might actually get to enjoy some of my house's precious warm water. Aaaaanyway, that plan was a little more difficult than I had expected. You see, whatever I did, I had to make sure that one of my feet was sticking out over the edge of the bath tub at all times. Whenever my foot disappeared under the water, Ebo would get upset, start crying for my foot, and then try to jump into the bath tub. I guess it had been a long time since he'd seen my bare foot, so he was a little overly excited. 2005/04/20 Weeeeeeell... Maybe I should be flattered... Ebo's usual targets are pillowcases and towels and sheets and coats and hats and bike helmets and t-shirt logos and oven mitts and chicken strips and shoes and socks and feet and... Do I really need to go on? Anyway, I can't tell you how annoying it is when you're trying to talk to a guy and make a genuine connection, but the whole time he's checking out your feet. So maybe I should be thankful that this time Ebo at least made eye contact... Except... that's the thing -- he was flirting with MY EYE!!! I normally wear glasses, and Ebo was sitting in my lap, and I took my glasses off for a second to clean them off. (By the way, this is not the first time he's seen me without glasses.) But MAN, he looked up at my face and got soooooo excited. So he stuck out his chest and had his little heart shaped wings and everything, and he walked up to my face and towards my right eye -- and he didn't stop until his beak was literally touching my eyelashes! Then he started singing his head off! He was doing his special "ebo song" and making his squeaky toy noises (which, if you hear in real life, are VERY LOUD!!!) But man, talk about making eye contact! Maybe it was Ebo's version of a typical pick-up line -- "You have such beautiful eyes!" etc. Geez. 2005/04/06 Ebo seems to be a little more hormonal lately -- today he was calling frantically to my feet, and when I interrupted him by making a kissing sound, he immediately lunged and bit my lip! Typical Horny Ebo behavior. And the other day, I bought one of those insanely overpriced bottles of pomegranate juice, just to see what it was like. (As it turns out, I hated it, but whatever.) Anyway, Ebo was totally flirting with the bottle while I was trying to (aka forcing myself to) drink it. Maybe he was attracted by its perfect "hourglass" figure. ^_^ 2005/03/02 I needed food on short notice, and there's a KFC down the street from me, so I got some chicken strips from them. I took them home. I was only going to be home for half an hour or so, but I still wanted Ebo and Pokey to be able to come out of the cage, so I let them out and put them on their gyms. Well, a few minutes later, Ebo makes his way over to my lap, and I was thinking "Oh great, he's gonna start begging for food" -- which is what he usually does. But that wasn't exactly what happened. Ebo hopped into my lap, walked up to my chicken strip, and started making kissing noises!!! After eight or nine kisses, he started singing to the chicken strip! He sang to it for quite a while, too. I just sat and watched him; I couldn't exactly eat his girlfriend while he was singing to it. He's such a loser! ^_^ 2004/12/12 Ebo can be very manipulative! Once he sat on my father's shoulder, and whenever my father tried to take him off, Ebo would say "ow!" Well, my father actually fell for it and left him alone every time he said it! Tricky little bird. 2004/12/08 Ebo loves... well... the obvious: flirting with just about everything, especially pieces of fabric like pillowcases. But MAN, you wouldn't believe what he fell in love with today!!! I found this old Rainbow Brite bedsheet in the closet, and I unfolded it all the way so I could use it to play with the ferrets: I spread it out on the floor and then billow it out over and over, and the ferrets have fun jumping on it and burrowing under it, etc. Well, Ebo was DESPERATE for this bedsheet. He started saying "woo? woo? woo? woo? woo? woo? woo? woo? woo? woo? woo?" Then he'd fly down to it. I had to put him in the cage because I didn't want him flying down to where the ferrets were playing. Then he started crying even more; he was so desperate! Then, after the ferrets went to sleep, I put Ebo in the middle of the bedsheet and started billowing it up again, and he sat there in the middle of all the ripples looking soooo happy. What a loser. 2004/12/07 Ebo is gullible! I was gonna be up past the birds' bedtime, and when I do that, I cover the cages so they don't get bothered by the lights. Well, when I came downstairs today, my sister had already turned off all the lights, so it was dark and the birds were going to sleep. But when I came to Ebo with the towel to cover the cage, he started hissing at it. The solution? I pointed the towel at him from outside the cage and started making kissing noises. Ebo got soooooo happy! He stuck his chest out and started kissing the towel back and making happy noises. Then when I covered him up, he made a few more happy noises before going to sleep. What a dope. ^_^ 2004/12/01 Today my sister caught Ebo masturbating, and he kept hissing at her (she says it's because she ruined his fun). Apparently, my sister was in her room UPSTAIRS with the door closed, and she started hearing weird noises coming from downstairs, so she went to check it out and found out that it was Ebo masturbating all over the cage floor! (There's a ladder in his cage, and he kept crashing into it while masturbating, hence the noise.) It's like a birdie version of creaking bedsprings! I still haven't actually seen him doing it, but whenever I catch him hanging around in his corner, he says "Hi Ebo! ::hiss::" I guess he just doesn't like being interrupted. 2004/11/27 Ebo has officially become a masturbator. Well, not officially, but it's very likely. My sister caught him doing it in the corner of his cage -- he had his tail sticking in the air with his butt facing the cage bars and was stepping back and forth really fast, or something. I wasn't there to "verify" it (he seems to stop whenever I walk by, but he's been hanging out in that corner a lot lately), so I'm not 100% sure that's what he was doing. But it seems pretty likely. What really got me, though, is this. I've read a lot about people's birds making little chirping sounds when they masturbate. Well, my sister tells me that Ebo was making the chirping sounds, but while he was masturbating, he was mostly saying "Good Ebo" a lot. GEEZ!!! Is that his idea of dirty talk or something? 2004/11/01 Well, seeing as yesterday was Halloween, I figured I'd get Ebo in on the action. So I donned my beautiful "fat decaying bald warty man with bad teeth" mask, stepped out from around the corner, and waited for Ebo to notice. Not only was he not scared, I think he might have actually been turned on! He stuck his chest out and started singing, etc. Dumbird! 2004/08/28 While I was at the vet, Ebo saw my shoes for the very first time since he hit birdie puberty. All he wanted to do was fly down to the floor and hit on my shoes. It was very difficult to get him to calm down. He even attacked the vet for trying to interrupt his flirting. Eventually, I managed to get him to calm down and forget about the shoes. But then when we got home and gave him the medicine, there was another ordeal. I have this aqua-colored pillowcase that I use to hold Ebo when I cut his nails, etc. And you see, Ebo has a bit of a crush on the pillowcase. All he wanted to do was hang out with it, and if I separated them, he stared saying "woo woo woo woo woo woo" constantly and really fast while trying to fly back over to it. He didn't give up until I threw the pillowcase into the next room. 2004/08/24 Hehehe, I seem to have been dressing sexy for Ebo a lot this week. His latest turn-on is, strangely enough, my new bike helmet. Whenever I wear it, all he wants to do is sing to me with his chest sticking out. 2004/08/23 Ever since Ebo saw me wearing this (apparently very sexy) pair of blue socks earlier this week, he's been trying to flirt with my feet again. He went to my feet and started showing off, and when I reached down to take him away from my feet, he tried to attack my hand. So I picked him up and told him "Bad Ebo," and he started crying! Or, he started saying "woo woo woo woo woo" in this really whiny sad voice. I felt bad about it, but oh well. ^^ 2004/08/20 Hehehehe... I've been having a little "problem" with Ebo lately. Basically, the thing is... Ebo LOVES meeting new people. I mean, he seriously goes crazy with joy when he gets to meet someone new. The first thing he does is fly over to them and sit on them. Then he climbs up to their shoulder and starts whistling and singing and bragging about how good he is. ("Good Ebo. Good Ebo. Good Ebo. Good Ebo." etc.) If you put him in the cage while a stranger is around, he starts walking back and forth really fast begging to come back out. The last time he saw my half brother and I put him in the cage, he went back and forth so fast it looked like he was having a happy little birdie seizure. It's about as excited as I've ever seen him. When Ebo is busy showing off to our guests, he starts acting very disrespectfully towards his mother (me) ^_^. If he's sitting on the person (or in the process of trying to get to the person) and I reach over to pet him or take him away, he starts attacking my finger. The only time he ever bites me fairly hard is when he's hanging out with a stranger and I try to "interrupt his fun." If the person he's sitting on reaches up to pet him, he behaves just fine. And if he's sitting with my sister (whom he sees all the time) and I pet him or take him away, he doesn't care. But if he's having fun with a stranger, he starts being mean to me. After the guest leaves, Ebo is back to his old self, pretending he behaved perfectly and wanting to sleep with his beak shoved into my face. --top --Losers Club Home Pokey's LoserJournal Documented by Pho 2005/05/20 This morning, when I went to see Pokey, she became the biggest droopy-winged freak ever! She was ducking really low, with her head down low as well, and her wings and back were puffy. Her wings were hanging about as low as I've ever seen them, and with the way she was shaped, she literally looked like a big tent! Like, the really fancy ones that you see at sporting goods stores, not the dinky pointy ones. But yeah, she looked like the biggest tent-shaped droopy-winged loser ever!!! She head-bobbed a bunch of times and then kept shaking her head a ton, and she kept saying "Hah! Hah! Hah!" (or something that sounded like that; it's the sound that African greys make when they get all droopy winged and want to throw up). She was holding onto my index finger with her foot, and whenever I tried to take it away, she would hold on tighter with her foot and pull it back towards her. Big fat puffy tent-shaped loser! 2005/05/13 I took a picture of Pokey yawning, and whenever I look at it I just can't stop laughing. The best part, though, is that when I start laughing at it, Pokey laughs along with me. Poor little dumb bird -- she doesn't realize that I'm laughing at her! 2005/04/06 So is everyone here familiar with the Boo Game? Where I hold my hand up in front of the birdies' faces and then lower it and say "Boo!" Well, both Pokey and Ebo know how to do it, except that Pokey says "boo" in my voice and not in Ebo's. ^_^ But aaaaanyway... Pokey also has a very gross habit that I haven't seen any other parrots doing so far (but I'm sure some of them do). Whenever she goes to the bathroom, she always turns her head sideways to watch the poop falling. Like I said, big loser. But it gets worse! Last night she was on her play gym, and she went to the bathroom, and right as it was falling, she said "Boo!" to her poop! I mean, Ebo flirts with chicken strips and pillowcases, but even he doesn't talk to his own poop. Pokey is a big loser! --top --Losers Club Home Neo's LoserJournal Documented by Nicole 2005/05/22 If Silver is a big looser, Neo's an even bigger one, and trust me, that's a tall order to fill considering Silver outweighs Neo by about 20 grams! Silver busts a mental bloodfeather everytime he hears the "Gulls" in the opening lyrics to Sponge Bob Square Pants. Its a huge turn on for him. Neo sympathy chirps along with Silver, like "Yah bro, got yer back." Neo's big TV turn on however, is NOT the gulls in Sponge Bob. Oh no. This looser takes it a step further. In typical Neo fashion, its not even a bird in the TV commercial he flips over. Its the Enzyte commercial for "male enhancement". "Meet Bob! Bob is Living Large these days!" (Insert whistling Doo-do-doo-do-do-do-do-do-doooo! Doo-do-doo-do-doo-do-do-do-dooo!)Then they play ANOTHER Enzyte commercial right on its back "Meet Bob's friend, He took Bob's advice and now he's swinging with the pro's" Or some garbage like that. (Insert more whistling). The commercial should be "Meet Neo. He's a looser who flips out everytime he hears the idiotic whistling." I'm fairly certain I'm going to wake up one morning to hear Neo whistling his new musical tune... "Doo do doo do doo do do do dooooo!" Neo just LOVES this commercial. Its his big turn on for the day! Maybe the tune should be "Loo-hoo-hooser-loo-hoo-hooo-hoo-ser!" 2005/05/16 Neo was a looser from day one. He thought he was a telephone at one point, making himself ring just LIKE it, and when I'd "pretned to answer it" and say "Who's there" Neo would reply "Birdy!" Neo has never found a mate, because sadly Silver snatched up the only hen in the house, so he made due with the budgies in the next cage. Any port in a storm! He "puts on his hearts" and sings to them, clinging to the bars of the cage.. singing his heart out. That is.. when he can't flap over and visit them in person. He also loves his momma. He whistles at me, kisses me and tells me I'm a "pretty birdy". He's a looser though. The only time he hates me is when I'm wearing a white towel on my head, fresh from the shower. He'll hiss and hide. LOOSER. --top --Losers Club Home Silver's LoserJournal Documented by Nicole 2005/05/22 For Silver's slighter brother Neo, it seems that smaller is better, so it's understandable that Neo would be attracted to the budgies in the next cage over. Not that it doesn't make Neo any less Looserly, but its understandable. Silver on the other hand, is a rather strapping young tiel. Maybe a Big Beefy Texas Cowboy in another life? You know what they say, everything is bigger in Texas. Perhaps that could explain Silver's obsession with Seagulls. Undoubtabley, if he ever saw one up close, he'd let out a watery poop and drop his tail feathers in fear, but Silver doesn't believe that to be the case. (He has quite the ego you know). This looser LOVES the sound of Gulls! He hears the typical wild yard birds twittering and chirping all day long and barely raises a "hawk" feather, but if he hears a Seagull cry outside, he goes beserk, trying to answer it! It sends him into a frenzy everytime! But the looserly behavior doesn't end there. Oh no! My daughter can't watch "Sponge Bob, Square Pants" without Silver's input, in the morning. The opening theme song has the faintest cry of Seagulls at the end, but OMG, Silver morphs into psycho tiel everytime, looking for the birdy! You would think that a thousand mornings of hearing the opening bars of "Who Lives In A Pineapple Under The Sea"..... would be enough of a hint for Silver to know that a magical bird is not going to appear at the end of the song, but its a no fail way to wake him up EVERY morning. I honestly believe he's in love with the Gull in the TV. Lu-Huh-OOOOZER! 2005/05/16 Silver is a looser, just like his older brother. He thinks he's God's gift to cockatiels and humans. He began his looserly career as Johnny Bravo in a tiel's body at a young age. He'd flirt with Apache by chasing her around and singing to her, and when I'd come to the cage, he'd stick his chest out like "I'm SOOO sexy" He's also put his hearts on for any female he sees. He's REALLY bad. But.. his prowess finally won Apache over in the end, but not so much that he doesn't beg his brother for scritches. His most looserly quality is his addiction to yawning. See.. he loves scritches in his "yawn spot". He will beg for them from his preen ball, from APache.. and from me. Then.. he will turn his head and make SURE we get "the spot". Then.. he will spend at LEAST a half an hour yawning away. He seems to love to yawn! LOOSER! --top --Losers Club Home Sam's LoserJournal Documented by Sarah Coming Soon --top --Losers Club Home Sascha's LoserJournal Documented by Emily 2005/05/16 Sascha is madly in love with sponges. Any sponge will do as long as its about his size and of a bright color. He will woo the sponge by spreading his wings back, sticking his neck out and crooning to it. Laaaaaaaa dee dee daaaaaaa ..... dooo do do doooooooooo .... This will last about 5 minutes until, scorned by the lack of love from the sponge, he flips it off the edge of whatever surface the poor object happens to be lying on. Then he chrips for it until mama goes to retrieve it. And the routine begins anew. Sascha also loves caves. His current favorite is entering open potato chip bags, which I munch from during my lunch break. Sascha likes to dine with meat the table, which is fine, except when I stop paying attention to him to read the paper or do a crossword puzzle or whatever. The next thing I know, I reach into the potato chip bag to get a chip and hear "hissssss" and get nipped on the hand by a sharp beak. Then Sascha comes running out of the bag - smelling strongly of chips - to defend his territory. This has other inconveniences, too: notably, what if he poops in the bag!? This hasn't happened yet, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time. Yuck. Whenever I compliment him, Sascha responds by saying (over and over) "pretty bird, pretty bird ..." It's cute. But he knows he's got it going on. --top --Losers Club Home Juliette's LoserJournal Documented by Kristina Coming Soon --top --Losers Club Home Sweetie's LoserJournal Documented by Leandre Coming Soon --top --Losers Club Home Bailey's LoserJournal Documented by Suzanne 2004/12/30 You know how they say "you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose"? Well........Bailey's developed an absolutely nasty new habit. Bad birdie! It is just sooooo gross! Yes, as any loving mommy is ashamed to admit, my feathered baby is a nose picker. And not just any nose. MY nose!! I really do try to deter her from picking at my mouth-I worry about her catching something infectious from my less than perfectly clean human mouth. So now she's decided to be sneaky about it. She snuggles up under my chin with an "oh, pet me now!!" expression-then, once I start scritching away-whamo-she stealth-beaks the nearest nostril-"digging for gold" as my mom used to put it! Ew, ew, ew, ew!!!!!! Everytime she does it, I freak. "No, Bailey! Nasty!!".... and now she's developed a new variation. Apparently she thinks I'm protesting because I don't want to share! So if I open up my mouth to protest she's right there, er...proffering the plucked remains of my nostril hairs like, "Here, mommy, want a taste?" *sigh* I'm doomed. Kids, bugs, doctors, and now birds. They all think the nose is the most interesting orifice on the human body, and they all want to check it out. I wonder if I can train Bailey to be a "knee" bird instead? --top --Losers Club Home Baby's LoserJournal Documented by Lindsey Coming Soon --top --Losers Club Home Snowdrop's LoserJournal Documented by Wetheril 2005/06/07 On Sunday (about 2 days ago), Snowdrop did the most LOSERLY thing possible!! She's been getting her wings lately and she can actually fly, but I never expected her to fly straight into the wall! I had millet in my hand, and my boyfriend was just walking into the room, and I called out, "Snowdrop, fly!" She flew to my hand, but instead of landing there and eating millet, she jumped off and flew into the bedroom wall, then bounced off and landed on my bed. Fortunately, she wasn't hurt, and she can't fly at high speeds yet, but I was really shocked and worried at first. Now I'm having second thoughts about encouraging her to fly. :O 2005/05/22 Snowdrop is really attached to that new pink soapdish now! She loves sitting, sleeping, and singing in it. In fact, she recently picked up the habit of peeking at me through the holes in the white rack while sitting on that pink soap dish! It's kind of creepy, because one minute, I'll look over at the rack and see nothing, the next minute, a little budgie eye is staring at me! She also likes to get scritches through the hole in the rack. There's a silly video I took of her today peeking through the hole, and when I stick my finger through it, she starts head-bobbing like the loser that she is. ;P --top --Losers Club Home Odo's LoserJournal Documented by Pandora Coming soon --top --Losers Club Home Tsuki's LoserJournal Documented by Fenris 2005/06/16 Well, Tsuki's squeaky masturbation noises can be heard across the hall, but if someone comes into the room, she stops. Also, Tsuki enjoys screaming at paper towels, among other things. She has about three scream noises - normal scream, singing scream (this sounds like a long singing note, and she sings it very well, sometimes almost with vibrato!)....And the hawk screech, which she has done twice. I heard it the first time and thought she sounded like a hawk, and the second time, a friend of mine heard it and noted the same thing. Tsuki loves to nibble on the yellow tail feathers of her fierce, bossy "pal", Skittles. Tsuki is EXTREMELY clumsy, and will trip just running around. She will also give very quiet scream sounds sometimes. If she thinks she might slip, or if she's biting something, she may just scream very quietly! She once was biting onto my friend's glasses (showing where nerd tape goes), and I tried to pull my hand away. Tsuki let out a tiny little scream. Tsuki is basically a hyper little kid. She is, we believe, the youngest of our birds, and she is the most active. Tsuki also enjoys punching holes in paper, and has destroyed the edge of my System of a Down CD insert. Tsuki just did this today. She was sitting on my bed, playing with the string of the blinds, and she suddenly grabbed the end and ran with it! When she got to the end, she let go, and turned around, watching it fall back. She did it again right after! On one occasion, our budgie Honeybump bit my hand rather hard (he's not all that tame), and Tsuki happened to see. She got VERY angry and came to growl at Honeybump and beak fight with him! Tsuki likes to bite my books and squeak angrily if i take them away from her. Once, I was reading, and she grabbed a big chunk of pages in her beak. I lifted the book to try to get it away from her, and she just dangled! She didn't let go. Speaking of dangling....While playing in her cage one day, Tsuki was climbing up at the top, and accidentally let go with her feet. I noticed a few seconds later that she was stuck dangling from the top of her cage. She couldn't reach anything, so she wasn't struggling. She was just hanging there by the tip of her beak, completely still. I had to come get her down! --top --Losers Club Home Luna's LoserJournal Documented by Lauren 2005/06/20 In the short time I have had Luna, he has done some loserly things. He loves hair ties and will take one from me and run away with it. When I try to take it back, he will hiss at me and then lunge for my hand but never bite. Sometimes he will drop toys or the hair tie off the bed just to watch them fall! He has a special perch in the shower that I made out of a wire coat hanger with rope around it. He gets very excited and will flap his wings and flip upside down from the perch. He usually pulls himself back up but sometimes when he is wet, he is too heavy to pull himself back up and falls! Luna does bat bird everyday. Sometimes he gets really hyper for no reason and does bat bird or holds his wings out and quickly draws them back in, stepping from side to side, showing off. Luna is a bird with an attitude. Sometimes he does not want me to pick him up and will squawk and threaten to bite me, which he never really does. He hates my sister and will not allow her to pick him up. He lunges at her fingers or when she walks by him he will open his beak as to say get away! he also bullies my dog. Luna has learned to wolf wistle but also has made up several of his own wistles that originated from the wolf wistle. Sometimes he will sit in his cage and sing to himself. when I turn on the radio when I leave for work, he thinks he is alone and can be heard singing along to the music! He is usually nice to me but he has his moments. Haha! --top --Losers Club Home View LoserJournals Ebo Pokey Neo Silver Sam Sascha Juliette Sweetie Bailey Baby Snowdrop Odo Tsuki Luna Link to the Losers Club! http://www.biseinen.com/shango/losersclub.html (c) 2002-2005 by Pho. Please do not reproduce any part of this site without permission.